My mom and I got into a HUGE fight! This isn't the first time but this is definitely the worst. What do I do?

I'm 19 and home from college for the summer. This evening when I tried to talk to my mom about my career options she didn't want to talk to about it and kept saying that we'll talk about when we need to. The thing is I'm graduating in two years so if this isn't the time I don't know what is. When i said this to her exploded and started yelling and screaming and bringing topics that had nothing to do with what we were discussing. Like she told me I was the reason she wakes up everyday and wishes today would be the day that she would die in a car crash. IT HURT SO DAMN BAD WHEN SHE SAID THAT!! So I got angry and started crying and yelling. I told that I would kill myself if it meant she could be happier and she said I was being overly dramatic and needed to shut up. When I said it again she said "sounds like nothing I can stay can stop so go on do it then." Thing is I would consider myself a decent daughter but ever since I was little she has always made me feel like I am always in the wrong when we argue about things which is pretty atelast once a day. And I am not a submissive person but she makes me feel so bad about getting her worked up all the time and says that I am always upsetting her. I know that I'm wrong in a lot of our arguments but does that mean she's always right? SHe has NERET in her life EVER apologized for an argument though I would be convinced I wasn't wrong. I ALWAYS apologize even if I dont mean it just to make her happy but she NEVER accepts my apologies. Although we have a complicated relationship I feel I'm wired to seek her approval and it kills me when I can't get it. Please give me some advice. At this point I have no one to go to with this problem.